I'm thinking back to earlier this fall. We had just begun a new school year, and many things were kicking off. It's usually a good time of year for me, as I like fresh starts and new beginnings. However, this year was a little different than it had been in years past.
This "fresh start" for me felt like ..more of the same. I have been sensing an impending transition, and really believe God is preparing my/our hearts for change for well over a year now. I think when this happens..it's hard to be in the intermittent place. It creates a longing in your heart for the new thing.
At one point earlier in the year, we were on a path to huge change that involved a potential move to another state, a new job for my husband, and all the countless changes that something like that brings. For the most part, all were welcome as the opportunity was great, and we saw the Lord working. We thought , "Well, here it is, this is that change we've been sensing". However, after a long process of seeking God, we believed that this particular thing was not the transition we were called to. This reality was hard, as there is so much investment during a process like that...traveling to and from the area, imagining a life there, dreaming about potential for the future in ministry and life, building relationships, working with a realtor..the list is endless. These are many of the things that approaching life change brings to the table..and for us, we embraced them due to the state of our hearts.
So there has been somewhat of a fog over the past few months for me as I try to discern what God is up to, and what He desires for us and from us. I can't see what He is doing. I was reminded of something the other day.
This fall Greg took our oldest son Jayden on a father/son weekend at a nearby campground. This weekend was intended to be a sort of 'rite of passage' for boys ages 10-12. On top Jayden's dresser is a baton that was handed of by his dad that says "Be a man of God", assuming this was some sort of exercise in going the distance. They spend time playing football outdoors, sitting at the campfire, worshipping together, and growing in God. Although Jayden and Greg previously had "THE talk", they also spend some time educating the boys about sex, and teaching them about God's plan for it etc.
Of all the things they did, I think the most profound was the faith walk. The father and son are separated. The sons are blindfolded while the fathers are waiting at the foot of a wooden cross a good distance away. The challenge is that the son must find his way to his dad by the sound of his voice guiding him to where he is. I can imagine Greg telling Jayden , "ok walk to your right a little,.... now go a little left,.....ok now watch out for that hole in the ground....it's ok if you fall, get back up and keep listening to my voice,....there is a big rock a few feet in front of you, I will guide you around it,...you are going to go uphill here, so use your strength...ok straight ahead, straight ahead, your almost here.....here."
When he arrived where Greg was, they removed his blindfold, and he could see that he was secure in the love of his father and without seeing in the physical, his dad had led him exactly where he needed to be. He trusted his fathers voice.