Sunday, June 2, 2013
My Planned Life
Another person at church said "Congratulations!" And I thought..'well, I didn't work too hard to get this old.' Maybe they were just meaning..'you've made it this far, and look ....life has not kept you from 37..so congrats!' (???) Does anyone know if you are supposed to say 'congratulations' on someone's birthday? I guess I'm not sure, and my response was delayed as I processed. I eventually replied back.."Well, I'm not sure birthdays are a good thing anymore at my age..this side of 40 is still ok with me." However, most of my friends are already in their 40's and on up, and if they are any indication of what it's like...I'm looking forward to 40. :)
We were surprised with a free afternoon because baseball had a scheduling error..so after opening a fabulous gift from the husby and kids..we went for an afternoon in the park: bike riding, lounging on blankets in the shade, and you guessed it...more baseball. :) The boys went and picked out 3 different slices of cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory for the candle blowing ceremony later in the evening. Greg and I then shared a meal over margaritas (I've eaten far to much mexican food this week...uhhg!). But by far, the best part of the day was after the devouring of luscious cheesecake when the boys treated me to the 'scott boys spa'. It was complete with spa/rain music played from Jayden's Kindle Fire, Wes pinching my elbows with his fingertips while whispering in my ear "Does this feel niiiiiiiice?"in a 7 year old latino accent. One of them had the idea to take the key lime slice from the keylime cheescake to put on my eyes for puffiness......confused with a cucumber, before I stopped them. :p Sam stayed on task for a bit, but then took the opportunity to cuddle me. I had wet rags on my forehead and feet, and my muscles and limbs may have been bent in positions they shouldn't go. All in all, it may have been more reminiscent of an exorcism or something ....but it was awesome and sweet and hilarious. I love being their mom...as hard as it is some days...it is my calling,..... and I love them!
Recently while on a personal time of retreat, I was asking the Lord about identity and purpose. Through the process He brought me to Isaiah 49:1 "......the Lord called me before my birth; from within the womb he called me by name." When I read these words, I sat still, struck by them in a new way. Then He brought to mind the story of my physical birth into the world.
My dad was in the US Air Force, and our family was stationed at Yakota AFB in Japan from 1975-1978. Shortly after moving abroad, they conceived me. They were enjoying the time in Japan....wink wink.....visiting interesting destinations, trying all sorts of cuisine, meeting friends from all over the world. When it came time for me to be born, my mother went into labor. After some time, the fetal heart monitor showed that with each contraction my heart rate was dropping. After some analysis, they determined that the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around my neck, choking me. ( my family jokingly likes to point out that this lack of blood flow to the brain must be the cause of all my weirdness, unless it was the fall from the top of the slide onto a concrete slab headfirst at the age of 2....maybe it's both :p )
They made an immediate decision to go into an emergency c-section...and even in 1976, they had me out very quickly. Sure enough, the cord was wrapped around my neck twice...evidence that I, a little bundle of energy, was soon to be trouble for my young parents..(especially around age 2) (i.e. summersaults in mom's belly).
But this day during my retreat, as I processed this story again, it was as if God was reminding me that He knew me and named me before I was born. He had a plan and a purpose. What was perhaps an attempt of the enemy to 'steal, kill and destroy' - was providentially interrupted through the prayers of my parents and the wisdom and strength of skilled doctors...and my mother bears the scars as evidence of my planned life!! SHE bears the scars...and I weep with gratitude for mothers who bear all.kinds.of.scars.
The Lord has poured out His immeasurable mercy on me through the course of this life. I have experienced profound moments where a deep sense of purpose was known and acknowledged..and other times when life feels like an endless walk through the dark woods with only a flashlight for sure footedness with each step. And like the truth that's in a kiss from the child for whom I bear scars...He reminds me of the one who bears every scar as evidence of our planned lives. And it's better than the whole world celebrating...all of Heaven rejoices :)